Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Stepford Wife Social Skills (or how to have boundaries the Stepford Way)

You are going to have alot of people not understand your lifestyle. They will want to take you away from your home and family for superficial reasons. You don't want this. You need to be available for your family and you are far too busy.

Now, going to a women's social gathering is something entirely different. Getting dressed up and going to a social tea, a women's book club, that is acceptable. These gatherings better you and have a purpose. Also going to something with your family is wonderful with your husband's permission.
I am talking about the time wasters.

Also guard against talking on the phone about trivial matters. If the conversation is about recipes or cleaning products, that is another thing entirely (and you will even keep these conversations short and sweet). But gossiping or idle conversation have no place in your life.

The good Stepford wife knows how to handle these situations. Now this of course does not pertain to another Stepford wife. She will know you have your priorities and are busy. She will keep her phone conversations pleasant and to the point. No, I am talking about how a Stepford wife handles the others....

Someone shows up at your door and wants to visit.
It is perfectly alright to invite them in and offer them a cup of coffee. You are the perfect hostess. If you are ironing, folding clothes or baking etc offer them a chair and go on with your task. You can talk about any thing on the safe list. If they try to change the subject to a forbidden subject, just look at them blankly and go back to the safe list. Normally under these conditions, she will leave on her own in a timely fashion. If not, then tell her "thank you for the company, but now I have to (whatever is next on your list). There is always something or other that has to be done. Good bye (name)." And if she objects, tell her "I have put it off long enough, (????) really needs done." And walk her to the door. Simple.

Someone asks you to a function that is not Stepfordy.
This one is easy. "Gee no, (name). That doesn't sound like something I that would interest me. Thank you for asking me any how." Or "I'm sorry, but I don't have the time for something like that." Or "I'm sorry, I have so much to do around the house here. You know how it is." The secret is to be blunt. This pretty much ends any arguments they may have had.

A perfunctory visit you have to make or receive, as in relatives.
This visit will by definition have a reflection on your husband, so be very, very nice. If in your home,be the perfect hostess. The safe list is your friend. Stick to it. And a Stepford wife never, ever talks negative. You always keep a happy voice. And Smile! Remember, everyone is terrific, you are great, and your children and husband are wonderful. Ask them about themselves and sit with a smile and listen. If the conversation goes in a direction that is not proper for you, look at them blankly for a few seconds and pull it back to your safe list. Keep visits of any kind short. Lengthy visits only lead to trouble and too many questions.

When asked about your Stepford Wife lifestyle.
You can simply tell them you are a Stepford wife in a "jesting" manner. Then change the subject. This usually works very well.
If they still persist, then "I finally realized what is important in life. I am happy. I feel I am living a very full life. My husband's work is important and he couldn't do it nearly as well if not for me. We are a team. Between us we are enabling him to focus on his work, raising a family, running a clean comfortable household and doing community work" Personalize this. And then ask them about their children or their household.

Remember: Keep visits short. Keep phone conversations short. You decide what is appropriate for you and then stay with what you decide.

Safe Conversation List

Always positive and SMILE
House cleaning
Stain removal
Cleaning products
Children or grandchildren
Carpet cleaning
Floor waxing
Grocery shopping
Hand crafts

Forbidden Subjects

Anything negative
Man talk
Illnesses (your own)
Any Personal Problems of any kind
Your husband or children in any negative light