Stepford Wife Social Skills (or how to have boundaries the Stepford Way)

You are going to have alot of people not understand your lifestyle. They will want to take you away from your home and family for superficial reasons. You don't want this. You need to be available for your family and you are far too busy.

Now, going to a women's social gathering is something entirely different. Getting dressed up and going to a social tea, a women's book club, that is acceptable. These gatherings better you and have a purpose. Also going to something with your family is wonderful with your husband's permission.
I am talking about the time wasters.

Also guard against talking on the phone about trivial matters. If the conversation is about recipes or cleaning products, that is another thing entirely (and you will even keep these conversations short and sweet). But gossiping or idle conversation have no place in your life.

The good Stepford wife knows how to handle these situations. Now this of course does not pertain to another Stepford wife. She will know you have your priorities and are busy. She will keep her phone conversations pleasant and to the point. No, I am talking about how a Stepford wife handles the others....

Someone shows up at your door and wants to visit.
It is perfectly alright to invite them in and offer them a cup of coffee. You are the perfect hostess. If you are ironing, folding clothes or baking etc offer them a chair and go on with your task. You can talk about any thing on the safe list. If they try to change the subject to a forbidden subject, just look at them blankly and go back to the safe list. Normally under these conditions, she will leave on her own in a timely fashion. If not, then tell her "thank you for the company, but now I have to (whatever is next on your list). There is always something or other that has to be done. Good bye (name)." And if she objects, tell her "I have put it off long enough, (????) really needs done." And walk her to the door. Simple.

Someone asks you to a function that is not Stepfordy.
This one is easy. "Gee no, (name). That doesn't sound like something I that would interest me. Thank you for asking me any how." Or "I'm sorry, but I don't have the time for something like that." Or "I'm sorry, I have so much to do around the house here. You know how it is." The secret is to be blunt. This pretty much ends any arguments they may have had.

A perfunctory visit you have to make or receive, as in relatives.
This visit will by definition have a reflection on your husband, so be very, very nice. If in your home,be the perfect hostess. The safe list is your friend. Stick to it. And a Stepford wife never, ever talks negative. You always keep a happy voice. And Smile! Remember, everyone is terrific, you are great, and your children and husband are wonderful. Ask them about themselves and sit with a smile and listen. If the conversation goes in a direction that is not proper for you, look at them blankly for a few seconds and pull it back to your safe list. Keep visits of any kind short. Lengthy visits only lead to trouble and too many questions.

When asked about your Stepford Wife lifestyle.
You can simply tell them you are a Stepford wife in a "jesting" manner. Then change the subject. This usually works very well.
If they still persist, then "I finally realized what is important in life. I am happy. I feel I am living a very full life. My husband's work is important and he couldn't do it nearly as well if not for me. We are a team. Between us we are enabling him to focus on his work, raising a family, running a clean comfortable household and doing community work" Personalize this. And then ask them about their children or their household.

Remember: Keep visits short. Keep phone conversations short. You decide what is appropriate for you and then stay with what you decide.

Safe Conversation List

Always positive and SMILE

Recipes

House cleaning

Stain removal

Cleaning products

Children or grandchildren

Clothes

Makeup

Decorating

Carpet cleaning

Floor waxing

Pets

Gardening

Grocery shopping

Hand crafts

Forbidden Subjects

Anything negative

Man talk

Politics

Gossip

Jokes

Finances

Television

Sports

Dieting

Illnesses (your own)

Taxes
Any Personal Problems of any kind

Your husband or children in any negative light

Dressing Stepford Style

Let us start with Stepford Nevers
A Stepford wife never wears black in the spring or summer. She never shops for quantity over quality. It is better to have one or two exceptional items then ten subquality items. She never wears pants. Never anything made of denim. Never "athletic shoes". Never CULOTTES! Never pantyhose. She never goes without "foundational garments". Never a baseball cap. Or a sports jacket. She wouldn't be caught dead in a jumper! Never terrycloth. Never wears a t-shirt. Or (heaven forbid!) a sweatshirt. Never a large heavy purse. She never wears long dangly doodads for earrings. But she never goes without jewelry either. Or lipstick for that matter!


We need to discuss the foundations
A Stepford wife always wears a bra. And may I recommend Frederick's of Hollywood http://www.fredericks.com/ for great support. And a Stepford Wife's underwear always matches. I recommend getting one bra and two panties when buying a set. The panties are washed more often than the bra and your matchy sets will look better longer.

And for under those form fitting dresses I love the girdles at http://girdlebound.com/. They come in every support range. And they have some cute ones to please the hubbies :) They also carry some nice hosiery.

You may want to think about investing in at least one good, custom made underbust corset. There is nothing like it for getting that tiny waist look. It is worth the investment. Meschantes Corsetry http://www.meschantes.com/ has very nice mid priced corsets. They have a Ebay store also. There are alot of reputable corset makers. A well made custom corset is worth its weight in gold under that special outfit.

As we all know, you don't wear stockings with your open toe sandals that you should be wearing this summer. But if it were winter, you would need stockings. These are worn with a garter belt or with a girdle with garter straps. This little piece of undergarment will keep your husband smiling ;) Go with whatever your husband prefers. These stockings come sheer, with back seams, cuban heels, netting, the options are endless. I don't think I need to mention your feet should never be in need of a pedicure.

Clothing Styles
Since it is still summer, we will cover this seasons recommendations. Pastels are always safe. Have your colors checked to make sure you are wearing the most flattering shades for your color type.
Dresses are preferred. But a frilly blouse and skirt will do. A full flowy skirt is always nice. A pencil skirt can be worked too. But always feminine. And always form fitting. Feminine can be thought of as the opposite of masculine. This means stay away from manly materials and cuts. No denim. No thick cottons. Look for light flowy feminine movement in the material of your clothes. I wish you all had a local Stepford Dress Shop. But I know you don't so you just have to hunt in the regular department stores. It can be a challenge but worth it. Also a good seamstress can do wonders to get that fitted look. Or maybe you can sew. There are fantastic patterns for dresses. You are the lucky ones :)
A V neckline is slimming to the whole look. Also a square neckline can be flattering. Discuss with your husband how low a neckline should be. Too low is tacky. A strapless is acceptable with correct strapless foundation. And a halter dress is .... perfect....

And for that old fashioned picnic or gardening, a pair of Capri and a fitted blouse with wedgies can be adorable. The blouse can be tied at the bottom for that "country girl" look.


Stepping Around Stepford

Shoes. Sandals. Sexy, strappy with a heel. A sexy slim heel. Kitten heels are acceptable if you have trouble with balancing. In colors to match your outfits. Or white or off white, or light beige. You can get alot of use out of a nice leather sandal with a sexy heel for the summer. And don't let a picnic put you in a panic. The above picture is a wedge sandal. This is your friend when walking on grass. Your heel will not sink into the grass and dirt like your everyday heels.





Accessories

Accessories are like the frosting on your cupcakes. It can make them tantalizing and delicious or leave them dry and dull.

A handbag should be small to medium (never large) and have a small strap or handle. The feminine kind you carry in your hand. A woven straw handbag is always nice. This goes with almost any summer outfit. Some come with flowers or ribbons. The one in the picture is a Gretchen Scott basket weave handbag. Very cute and feminine.

A straw hat in the summer months is a must. Go to a hat shop and try on as many as you like. It is better to have one or two superb hats that look nice with your face shape and fit nicely than ten "Walmart" hats. (Where I personally wouldn't be caught dead!) You just need to wear them. Once you start you will never want to stop.

Jewelry should be in good taste. You are not living in the Playboy mansion. No long dangly earrings. No earrings in the shape of animals or leaves. Pearls are always a safe choice. Diamonds are versatile. Semi precious stones that match the color of your outfit always in good taste. And the necklace and earrings should always match.

A watch should be small and dainty. Diamonds are always appropriate around the face of your watch.

Scarves are fun. But, need I say it, they should match what you are wearing. Stepford style tip; a matching scarf tied on the handle of your handbag will add some feminine flow to your outfit.

Gloves are wonderful. A dainty off white or ivory pair will get you started. Get a pair that are just to or above your wrist for daytime. May I recommend Cottonlovers http://www.finalegloves.com/c809.html as a place to start. I absolutely love these. They add so much to an outfit. Once you get used to wearing them, you will love them. It will be like your hat, you won't be able to leave the house without them.

No true Stepford wife would use a paper Kleenex. There is nothing more feminine than a lacy handkerchief in ones handbag. A spray of your perfume onto it before you pop it into your handbag will give you a lift every time you open your handbag.

Hair and Makeup

This subject will be covered more indepth in the future. Wear your Hair to please your husband. Mine likes mine blond and curly. So that is how I wear it. I am sure your hubby has told you in the past how he likes it. Did you listen? Now is the time. Otherwise, invite him to come to the salon with you and get it just how he likes it, no I am not kidding...... Isn't that the point of a Stepford Wife? To have a happy husband????
You can accessorise your hair with ribbons, flowers or hair band.

Wear your makeup to please your husband, once again. My husband likes dark eyeshadow and eyeliner. He loves it when I wear false lashes. So I wear it the way he likes it. I wear a modified version in the daytime, not quite as dark but enough to keep my husband happy. Then if we go anywhere in the evening I will darken it up and add false lashes. And when we are alone, well, we can just say, look out Elvira :) Ask your husband. Believe me, he will tell you what he likes. He may like red lipstick or the natural country girl look. Experiment and get the look he likes. If it is too gawdy for daytime, wear it at least at night when you two are alone. And a modified version for daytime. He will love you for it. Men are very visual, and makeup plays right into that area.

Stepford Wife Schedule

7:00 Rise and Shine
Let your fou fou puppies out (make your bed)
reading, journaling and coffee

8:00 Simply Stepford Day Spa
Arobics, treadmill or a swim in the Stepford pool

9:00 *Perfect Hair and Makeup
(clean the bathroom when you are finished, make it "guest" ready)

10:00 Breakfast

Domestic Time
Follow your list, wear your apron. Can get groceries in this time slot. But be back home
by 12:45

1:00 Lunch
Salad with tuna, homemade soup or small sandwich

Mini Battery Recharge

4:00 Tea Time
Tea with a fruit and cheese (even cottage cheese)

Free Time
read, take a walk, manicure, pedicure etc.
Time can slot can also be used for baking.

6:30 Start Dinner

7:00 Dinner
(after dinner, clean the kitchen, make the sink shine)

8:00 Time with your husband
Dress cute, no company after 8:00

12:00 Full Battery Recharge
Wash face, brush teeth, sleep in a cute
nightie

*Important to a Stepford Wife. Always look your best. You want your husband to see you at your best. Beauty is of the utmost importance. Eat all meals Promptly at the time scheduled, only at the table with a cloth napkin and proper etiquette. Eat slowly and put down your fork between bites. Only eat until satisfied.

Feminine Ways and Past Times

House Keeping
Lack of Manliness
Nurturing
Artistic
Cooking
Creative
Gentleness
Quietness
Modesty
Soft
Gardening
Passive
Industrious
Handiwork
Letter Writing
Gracefull
Submisive
Pastels
Aprons
Fragile
Lace
Sewing
"Weaker Vessel"
Dependant
Delicate
Child Like
Trusting
Affectionate
Cheerful
Compassionate
Flatterable
Gullible
Loyal
Sensitive
Shy
Soft Spoken
Sympathetic
Tender
Understanding
Warm and Yielding
Tactful
Need for Security
Domestic
Innocent
Eager to sooth harsh feelings
Loves home life
High moral values
Easily expresses tender feelings

Feminine is the opposite of masculine; aggressive, ambitious, analytical, assertive, athletic, competitive, decisive, dominant, forceful, independant, self-reliant, individualistic, willing to take risks, "Destitute of manly qualities"

Description of a Stepford Wife

Overall:

There is a smile on her face all of the time.

Very ladylike, submissive, pretty, tender, refined, kind, gentle, feminine, sweet, frilly, soft, hospitable. She has a positive attitude, happy voice, all she says is uplifting. Loves to be domestic. Follows ettiquette in all situations.

Shy, quaint, flirty, soft voice.

She is always presenting food.

Socially:

She has her boundaries. She is a busy girl. So many floors to wax....so many bathrooms to clean....

She is too busy to go visiting or shopping. Exceptions: decorating purposes, grocery shopping, Simply Stepford Day Spa or to a garden tea.

She is be too busy for idle chit chat on the phone. She is keeping her home clean, gardening, ironing, doing things with your husband.

She has a positive attitude, happy voice, uplifting talk.

When she does talk to you, she only speaks positive: She is doing great. Everything is wonderful. Everyone is doing fine. They had a great time. She will never talk politics or sports or any other "man talk".
She will gladly talk about housework, recipes, shopping for groceries, cooking, cleaning products.
Never, Never, Never negative! She will not talk about another person, ever. No gosssssip. No taxes, sickness, problems, troubles..... only butterflies and sunshine :)

She is hospitable if you come to her home. She will have something freshly baked. She will have tea with you.

She can put a party together like nobody's business.

A Stepford wife's priorities:

She adores her husband. She is always available to her him. She is his sex kitten!

Her home can be discribed as immaculate and spotless. She does her chore list. She keeps her home inviting and calm. Her home always smells good and feels comfortable. She works in the garden. (with a hat and pretty gloves!) She always has something to do. Cooking. Cleaning. Polishing. Busy.

She is always providing for her families needs.

She always looks her best. She always has perfect makeup, hair and clothes.

Hobbies:

Taking care of her family and home. Cleaning, ironing, washing, waxing, baking, cooking.....

She loves to read books on ettiquette, decorating, cooking.....

She likes to organize her closets and drawers.